Unpopular opinion – we need to take care of the men out there.
They are just as important as women. Why will people cringe at this statement? Because we’re so trapped in looking at everything through the lens of power dynamics. Through this lens, the solution to men ‘dominating’ certain industries is to have more women dominate. We’re still dealing with the dynamics of domination. Is that really what we need more of?
Let’s try another lens –
Men, just as women, need to find their inner strength. Weak men, as we see, are dangerous. Men that are disconnected from themselves, from their humanity, are not good for the world.
Men, just like women, are carrying a great deal of shame and emotional repression. And society puts a lot of guilt on men, making it even harder to be vulnerable, seek help and turn inwards.
It is not easy to be a man these days.
I’ve been in the democracy/inclusion/peace education space for a while, and I’ve seen some facilitators do this exercise about privilege, where they point out people’s varying starting points. I do a similar thing in my workshops, so it’s not about the exercise, but there is often a subtle association of privilege with guilt. It takes a skilled facilitator to move from guilt to responsibility, but often the facilitator does not even mind the guilt, especially if it’s towards a privileged and ‘successful’ man. They consider the exercise to be a success. I’ve talked to many in this space who feel that this is the education that is needed to balance out the scales.
I don’t think that’s the kind of balance we need. When I was in academia, the conversation about equality was always about equal pay. And yes, that’s one factor. But that is just one small factor, in my view. Equality is also supporting people equally, seeing that we are equally wounded. That our need for success and recognition is equal. That just because someone is at the top financially does not mean that they’re at the top emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually. And same with the financial bottom – it does not make someone ‘less than’.
There are so many nuances here, so I hope people can read this without taking it to the extremes. I am, as always, talking about the power of love instead of the love of power. The love of power keeps us in power struggles. The power of love frees us from that, allowing every being to get what they need in order to connect them back to themselves.